Talli Roland: A Chick-Lit Writer’s Guide to Procrastination

Talli Roland(Or: How Not to Get that Novel Written . . . Quickly)

Step 1:

Make a cup of coffee, then turn on your computer. Tell yourself it’s okay to browse Facebook and Twitter for a while, since you need to drink your coffee and of course you can’t type while holding a mug. It’ll get cold if you put it down, and who likes cold coffee? Oh, the coffee went cold while you completed a BuzzFeed quiz on what Chia Pet you resemble. Better make another cup.

Step 2:

Ensure you’re sitting comfortably, since good posture is important. Spend at least a good ten minutes raising your office chair up . . . then putting it down. Up . . . and then down. The quest to find a perfect position may be time-consuming, but it’s worth a few minutes to save your poor back.

Step 3:

Wait, where’s the mobile? You might need it in case your agent/ editor/ random stranger calls. No, it’s not under that pillow, or the sofa, or— oh, the kitchen! Cake! The sugar rush will help you write faster. Really, it’s a scientifically proven fact. Shoot, there are crumbs on the floor. Better clean them up straightaway. And while you’re at it, why not give the whole floor a good wipe?

Step 4:

Browse Twitter and Facebook to see if anything new has popped up. Writers need to be present on social media, oh yes they do. Maybe not every five minutes, but it’s a very important part of the job.

Step 5:

Open Word. Try to remember where you saved the most updated version of your manuscript. Maybe it’s here? Or here? Oh my goodness, would you look at that photo? That was from, like, 2010. Oh goody, there’s a whole folder of old photos!

Step 6:

Gear up to start writing. But first, perhaps some coffee?

And repeat again from Step 1. You’re welcome!

Talli Roland writes bittersweet and witty contemporary women’s fiction. Born and raised in Canada, Talli now lives in London, where she savours the great cultural life (coffee and wine). Despite training as a journalist, Talli soon found she preferred making up her own stories – complete with happy endings. Talli’s novels have been short-listed as Best Romantic Reads at the UK’s Festival of Romance and chosen as top books of the year by industry review websites.

To learn more about Talli, go to http://www.talliroland.com or follow Talli on Twitter: @talliroland. Talli blogs at talliroland.blogspot.com.

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One Response to Talli Roland: A Chick-Lit Writer’s Guide to Procrastination

  1. “Oh, the coffee went cold while you completed a BuzzFeed quiz on what Chia Pet you resemble. Better make another cup.”
    This made me laugh out loud! Probably because of the complete and total truth of it.

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